How to Join
Protecting The Lesbian Ecosystem
It might be hard to believe for the new recruit, but only 10% of any female population is lesbian. Surely with knowledge, spunk, and a little elbow grease we can improve upon this! But how? First and foremost, every Junior Ranger must do all she can to serve and protect the lesbian wilds. Get to know Flora and Fauna. We Rangers ask ourselves The Three Ws: "Where does she live?", "What does she eat?", and "With whom does she sleep?" If you remember these helpful questions, you soon will be able to identify all kinds of fascinating individuals. More importantly, you will have the knowledge needed to help our numbers thrive and multiply. Study zealously and observe respectfully. In no time you will have wild lesbians eating from your hand.
Doing Good Works
It is very important, as a Junior Lesbian Ranger, that you ask yourself, "What is best for others?" or "How can I help?" When we answer these questions, we discover the best way to turn good thoughts into action. We call this, "Doing a good deed." Every Junior Ranger does as many good deeds as she can, every day, and in this way helps others and sets a good example for us all. Doing good deeds is also gratifying. You will find that doing unto others can be as rewarding as having others do unto you.
Putting Your Best Foot Forward
A Junior Lesbian Ranger is always courteous and kind, and remembers the old adage, "You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar." By behaving in a polite and respectful manner, and by keeping your uniform clean and neat, you make clear the pride you feel in yourself and the Rangers. You become a visible presence, a beacon, for all lesbians, timid or brave, and an inspiration to set aside traditional camouflage and walk, swim, crawl, or fly in plain view, with heads up high.
How to Join
Now that you know what is expected of the Junior Lesbian Rangers, you might ask, "How can I join?" Certainly understanding your responsibilities is the first step. If you are a true eager beaver, prepare to tackle an even greater challenge: making a commitment. Complete the following induction process with the supervision of an older, or more experienced lesbian.
- Recite from memory the pledge of the Junior Lesbian Ranger.
- Junior Lesbian Ranger patches correctly and with pride.
- Perform the following three tests:
- Start a fire (and keep it going).
- Tie stout knots.
- Find your orientation.
Once you have achieved these goals, you will be welcomed into the Junior Lesbian Ranger Corps with open arms.
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